SemiConscious Dot Org

Hey, remember Rich Lowry? The guy who said that librarians are a bunch of traitors and joked that they should all be killed? Gawsh, he’s a laff riot!

Wellsir, he’s penned another winner. Apparently, The Lord of the Rings, both in its Good vs. Evil morality and in its plot (all Evil comes from the East), is a parable for George W. Bush’s war on terror! Wow, who’da thunk?

So, if you’ll indulge me while I develop this silly analogy further, I guess that means DubYa is Aragorn, right? Except…ummm… I don’t think Aragorn stole his crown from its rightful owner. And I’m pretty sure he didn’t use the Battle of Minas Tirith as a convenient excuse to plunder Gondor’s treasury and pour toxic sludge in the River Anduin. And I gotta say that, in the mentor/sage/guru role, Karl Rove makes a pretty piss-poor Gandalf.

Still, I have no doubt that DubYa sees himself as King.

But wait. Iraq is Mordor and Saddam is the spitting image of Sauron, right? Shit, that doesn’t work either. Saddam’s ability to harm the valiant men of the West seems to have been badly overblown, which makes him more of a paper tiger like Saruman of Isengard. Knocking him out was certainly a good thing, but it really doesn’t make us any safer from the Main Enemy. Nope, the real Sauron is hiding out somewhere in the mountains of Afghanistan and/or Pakistan.

Nice try though, Rich.

Your elected officials at work. And here I foolishly thought that nothing could be sillier than the “Freedom Fries” bill.

We’re in the middle of a war, we’re running a $400+ billion deficit this year, we’ve got crime, pollution, and corporate robbery….and this is what our elected representatives are spending their time (and our tax dollars) dealing with.

Also note: the representative introducing this bill is from California. Suddenly, the whole Aaahnuld thing makes a lot more sense.

Here’s the actual text of the bill.

My Favorite Hip Hop Albums:

1. The Beastie Boys, Check Your Head
2. Public Enemy, It Takes a Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back
3. Dr. Dre, The Chronic
4. A Tribe Called Quest, The Low End Theory
5. Deltron 3030, Deltron 3030

1. Yeah, I know how cheesy it is that my favorite hip-hop album was made by a bunch of rich white guys. But so what? It’s brilliant. This is what Santana’s Abraxas would have sounded like if hip-hop had existed in 1970.

2. I didn’t like hip-hop before I heard this album. To me, it was all silly gold chains and rapping about your sneakers. Then these guys changed it all. They are hip-hop’s answer to the Dead Kennedys. And Chuck D’s voice is a force of nature.

3. The ultimate partay album, even if all the songs are about killing people. And hey, it introduced the world to Snoop.

4. One world: SMOOOOOOOOTH.

5. The left field representative on this list. It was done by the same crew that recorded Gorillaz two years later, but it’s far superior. If the idea of a hip-hop concept album about a future dystopia where humanity rises up against its robot masters does anything for you, then pick this up immediately.