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“Hartford: Smell The Magic”
23 Jun
Stinky “corpse flower” set to bloom in Connecticut!
Which begs the question: how, exactly, will its stench be distinguishable from the rest of Connecticut?
Archive for June, 2004
Respeck the Zep, Bee-atches!
18 Jun
Yeah, we all know this is just the latest salvo in the ongoing efforts of Jimmy to squeeze the Zep legacy for a few more ducats. (A Cadillac commercial? Are you fucking kidding me? You bastard.)
And you know what? I don’t care. How The West Was Won manages to inject a whole shitload of new life into songs I’ve heard a million times already. It’s the sound of the greatest live band rock and roll has or ever will produce, at the absolute peak of their powers. And it stomps the tired, strung-out, half-assed performances from The Song Remains The Same like a goddamn bug.
Alright, so maybe I don’t need a 19 minute version of “Moby Dick.” Other than that, it’s absolutely essential from beginning to end.
That these tapes sat in the vault for 31 years is a mystery. That in those 31 years nobody has come close to topping this band is a tragedy.
A Dire Threat To The Moral Purity Of Monkeydom
17 Jun
Curse you, Massachusetts Supreme Court! Do you see what you’ve started?
We should start a collection to buy Fred Phelps a plane ticket to China so he can go protest against the monkeys. And while we’re at it, we could conveniently forget to buy him a return ticket…
Ranking Just Below “David Hasselhoff: Rapper” on the List of Bad Ideas
10 Jun
Mariah Carey plans to write children’s books.
Make up your own punchline.
Next Stop: Ogdenville, Brockway, and North Haverbrook
02 Jun
Map of Springfield!
It’s all here: Mo’s Tavern, the Kwik-E Mart, Mr. Burns’ estate, Jebediah Springfield Park, Mt. Useful, Bumtown, the South Street Squidport…
