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And On The Seventh Day, The Lord Got Down
Last Saturday, I found myself in a heated theological discussion with some unsaved heathens, on a topic which is of paramount importance to our lives, indeed our very souls. The debate became louder and more heated, until the very floor on which we stood shook with the fury of our voices…and with the throbbing of the bass.
I speak, obviously, of the eternal question: “What Is The Funkiest Song Ever Written?”
Operating, as we did, from a common acceptance of the incontrovertable fact that Stevie Wonder, in the years 1971-76, laid down the funkiest music the world ever has or ever will produce, the question narrowed to which of Stevie’s masterpieces from that era should hold the title of Funkiest Ever. One of my hosts rather strongly averred that “I Wish” takes the title. His wife just as vociferously disagreed, claiming that the top spot must go to “Boogie On Reggae Woman.”
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not disparaging either of the aforementioned tunes. Both tracks are funkier than practically anything released by any other human being, living or dead. (I would also find it hard to quibble with someone who placed either “Higher Ground” or “Sir Duke” at the top of the heap.) However, they are not Stevie’s best. The track I proclaim to the Pinnacle of Human Funk is, not surprisingly, the hymn which with every Uber Nixon church service begins. I speak, of course, of “Superstition.”
Feel free to weigh in on the relative merits and rankings of the preceding tracks. One might even attempt to offer an alternate song title or artist as candidate for Funkiest Ever. To disagree with a religious man of my exalted stature would, of course, make one guilty of blasphemy. But don’t worry, it’s not “bleeding head mounted on the battlements”-level blasphemy. (After all, my hosts disagreed with me, and they’re still alive.) Think of it instead as, perhaps, “Karmic Pimp Slap”-level blasphemy.
