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What Kind of Interest Does Jeebus Charge?
I may have blogged about this before, I can’t remember. My former website and all its associated posts have been lost in the mists of time, so there’s no way to know for sure. Regardless, let me now state for the record:
If I EVER find out who signed me up for a bunch of Christian email lists, I will rip out their still-beating heart with a dull, rusty spoon, and eat it in front of them.
Today, while perusing my spam folder, I noticed an email for something called “Christian Debt Relief.” The message invited me to “remove your debt the Christian way.” This officially replaces Christian Weightlifting as The Silliest Religious Foray Into A Non-Religious Area I’ve ever seen. What’s next? Christian pool cleaners? (“We get that pesky algae out of your pool by turning water into wine!”)
Correct me if I’m wrong here, but wouldn’t the Christian way to remove my debts be to forgive them? I currently have roughly $40,000 worth of student loans to repay. I will be sending $250 per month off to Uncle Sam every month for the next 20 years. This seriously cuts into the supply of available cash to spend on important things like hookers and cocaine. Therefore, I would really appreciate if you wonderful Christian debt relievers would just forgive that debt for me. Your God commands you to.
Thanks in advance.
