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Get Out Your Lead-Pipe Pipe Dreams, Get Out Your Ten Foot Flags
The General points us to a recently-released study stating that men whose masculinity are challenged are far more likely to support war, display homophobic attitudes, and buy SUVs. Our first issue with this “study” is the implication that any of the aforementioned activities are bad. Value judgements aside, the “study” is obviously false. Why? Because if such a thing were true, the implications would be monstrous. It would suggest that the 101st Fighting Kryboarders, that fearless, intrepid group of pundits and bloggers whose service to a war effort they loudly support and refuse to fight in consists of branding the war’s opponents as traitors to America, may not have the pure motivations we have all heretofore been ascribing to them. It would seem to suggest that they are, in fact, a bunch of chickenshit, Cheeto-stained, basement-living cowards and losers, wracked with massive, well-deserved insecurity about their own sexuality, masculinity, and worth as human beings, and compensating in classic primate fashion by lashing out with all the ferocity of a chimpanzee throwing its own feces.
We know for a fact that these heroic warbloggers and pundits could not possibly be as miserably pathetic as the results of this “study” would seem to suggest; hence, our conclusion that it must all be rank, America-hating propaganda, and probably funded by the French.
