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Great Cthulhu Naps No Longer!
That cult would never die till the stars came right again, and the secret priests would take great Cthulhu from His tomb to revive His subjects and resume His rule of earth. The time would be easy to know, for then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy.
– The Call of Cthulhu
We all knew it was only a matter of time until Cthulhu rose from His ancient sleep at the bottom of the ocean and began His conquest of mankind. I’m sure there were many among you who hoped this wretched day would never come, but you can kiss that hope goodbye. Last month, in the remote waters of the north Pacific, scientists took the first-ever photograph of the risen Cthulhu. Look into the face of your doom!
Note that, from this angle, you cannot see mighty Cthulhu’s glowing red eyes, huge, flapping bat wings, or monstrous, razor-sharp claws. Nonetheless, it is He. The Great Old Ones have arisen, and will soon make all of humanity into a hearty breakfast. When your soul is screaming forever as you slowly digest in great Cthulhu’s stomach, don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Remember:
Jesus Saves, Allah Protects, and Cthulhu Thinks You’d Make a Nice Sandwich.
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!
