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Plamegate For Kids!
Hi, kids! The world sure is a big, confusing place, isn’t it? Grownups do lots of strange things that we don’t understand, don’t they? For instance, maybe your mommy and daddy were talking about that story in the news; you know, the one about the man who wants to send some of the President’s friends to jail. You probably heard big words like “special prosecutor” and “yellowcake” and “undercover CIA agent” and “treason.” What does all that stuff mean, anyway? It’s so hard for a kid to understand!
But not to worry! Some nice people have taken this confusing story and put it into simple language with lots of pictures, so that even kids and Republicans can make sense of it! You can read it on the website, or you can even get this neat version that prints up! It tells all about nice Mrs. Wilson, who was doing secret stuff to protect us from Bad Guys, and the Scary Mad People in the White House who tattle-tailed on her and put her and everyone she knew in danger, just to get back at some people they didn’t like. And you can read all about nice Mr. Fitzgerald, who is trying to put all the Scary Mad People in jail where they belong, so they can’t hurt the rest of us ever again.
There is one bad thing, though. We said this story is simple enough that kids and Republicans can understand it, but we might have spoken too soon. Most kids are way smarter than most Republicans. Plus, even when we make this story simple for Republicans to understand, they like to stick their fingers in their ears and go “La la la la la la, I can’t hear you!” This is what we call lying to yourself, and it’s something Republicans are really, really good at. In fact, it may be the only thing they’re better at than lying to other people!
