SemiConscious Dot Org

Shocked, stunned, nay, outraged are we this morning! Trembling and quivering with barely suppressed righteous fury! The foundation of our understanding of the world has been dealt a scathing blow, and those responsible must be punished!

First, the revelation: the city of Washington, DC, which we had long naturally assumed to be the exclusive property of the Republican Party, in fact contains a second political party! (Known, we are led to understand, as “Democrats.”) But as if that wasn’t shocking enough, there’s more! Apparently these “Democrats” think that, rather than squeal with barely suppressed glee at Dear Leader’s every utterance and march in lockstep to his every political whim (which all Republicans and patriots know to be their sacred duty as Americans), it’s their job to oppose the policies of Dear Leader, and in fact to question the motives behind his sainted actions!

Just yesterday, in fact, they dared to close the Senate for several hours to ask why the investigation into the rationale behind Dear Leader’s Holy War™ has ground to a halt! Stupid Democrats! What part of “Holy War™” do they not understand? Unlike Republicans, they apparently don’t realize that when God appoints you to invade the heathen lands, he doesn’t care about such minor fripperies as the reasons you cite (or invent) to justify that invasion. The Republican God is a CEO God, and he wants results, so just get the job done! What is he paying you for, otherwise?

Because Republicans understand that God is cool with the Ends justifying the Means, they know it’s perfectly alright to ignore their Constitutional duty to exercise Congressional oversight. Stonewall, schmonewall! Harry Reid can blather all he wants about his “fear for the country’s future.” All it shows is that he hates America. If you’re not prepared to suspend disbelief and unquestionably follow your President when he makes up reasons to invade countries that had nothing to do with the terrorist attack on America, then the terrorists have already won!

America: dissent is treason! Glory!