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Snark is the New Treason
O, glorious day! We have been informed that, last week, our exalted Dear Leader signed into law a bill making it illegal to annoy people on the Internets:
“Whoever…utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet… without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person…who receives the communications…shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both.”
Starting up a blog under a fake name and using it to say annoying things about Dear Leader is now punishable by prison time! The entire blogosphere is under arrest! Huzzah!
We, for one, applaud this courageous, freedom-promoting law. However, its passage has already, not surprisingly, elicited bleats of protest from the usual suspects:
“The use of the word ‘annoy’ is particularly problematic,” says Marv Johnson, legislative counsel for the American Civil Liberties Union. “What’s annoying to one person may not be annoying to someone else.”
Oh, waaaaah. We would like to point out that the law clearly states that, if you use your real name while annoying people, you are perfectly safe. This law amounts to nothing more than taking the tactics that have been so stunningly successful in the Wars On Drugs™ and Terror™ and applying them to the heretofore-unknown-but-obviously-life-threatening War On Pestering™.
We exult in the brave new vision of America being forged by Dear Leader and his minions; one in which the definition of “enemies” includes not merely those who wish to blow us up, but also those who wish to make fun of us. (To clear up any future confusion, “Us” = Dear Leader.) Soon, our prisons will echo with the tortured screams of editorial cartoonists! Glory!
