SemiConscious Dot Org

Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstacy and freedom. Meanwhile the cult, by appropriate rites, must keep alive the memory of those ancient ways and shadow forth the prophecy of their return.
– H.P. Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu

The sad news we must inform you of today is that Great Cthulhu’s followers are still very much alive and among us, and they have recently stepped up their efforts to prepare mankind for His Return and subsequent Meal. Not one, but two Cthulhu-themed movies have been filmed recently; the first (and more traditional of the two) was screened recently at the Sundance Film Festival, while the second, more “modern” adaptation finishes shooting in mere days, and (horror of horrors) was filmed right here in Seattle! This can only mean one thing: His followers are strong here in the Northwest. Forget Innsmouth, watch out for the Columbia mouth! From there will He emerge!

We can see nothing but ominous portents in this news. In fact, we would not at all be surprised if these twin films are but the first public relations salvo in a Cthulhu For President ‘08 campaign. We sense that Great Cthulhu is tiring of the pitiful efforts of His appointed proxy on earth, George W. Bush. While GWB’s record of mayhem and senseless slaughter is indeed impressive, Great Cthulhu is hungry, and 35,000+ fatalities represent barely a midmorning snack for His prodigious appetites! We fear He has therefore decided to take matters into His own tentacles, and bring into hellish reality the official slogan of His most recent campaign: “Why Settle for a Lesser Evil?”

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

Treacherous, treacherous media! We always knew those Nattering Nabobs couldn’t be trusted, and now we have the proof! Just this morning, whilst perusing today’s batch of news photos, we came across an affront to Dear Leader so callous, so depraved, that we just had to snag a screen capture of it and place it on the internets for the entire world to see! Behold:

Do you think this juxtaposition of pictures, and their eerie similarity, is an accident? DO YOU?????

When will the MSM get it through their pointy heads? If we continually draw attention to Dear Leader’s unmistakable resemblance to a chimpanzee for the purposes of eliciting cheap laughs, then the terrorists have already won!!!

Note: Original photos here and here. (Of course, we include these links only so that you can show your unwavering support for Dear Leader by not clicking on them. Of course.)

Recently, the school where I work received a grant to buy new computers for our liberry. Our current computers were granted by the Gates Foundation back in 1999, and have held up remarkably well, but are now showing their age and breaking down with increasing frequency. The great thing about the old computers is that they came preinstalled with locked-down, virtually tamper-proof profiles that have prevented the rugrats from messing them up.

However, since the BMGF computers were all configured as standalones, the security on each computer is controlled locally by the System Policy. This means that, if I want to install new software or make even minor changes to a profile, I have to sit down at each of the 14 computers and unlock all the security manually, make the changes, and lock the security back down. It’s a time-consuming hassle, at a job where I am already pressed for time.

However, this new grant (which I wrote the proposal for, thank you very much) also includes funds to purchase a new Windows 2003 server. So now I’m thinking that, with these new computers, it would make a lot more sense to create a locked-down roaming profile on the server (I’m assuming using a combination of System Policies and Group Policies) which all the library computers would log into. That way, I would only have to make changes to one place.

The problem is that I’ve never worked with 2003 Server before. Any idea where I could find some useful instructions? I’ve done a few online searches but found the results to be badly written and confusing.

The torrent of Godly lunacy has experienced a definite uptick this month:

Angry parents object to kids seeing video of opera “Faust,” saying it glorifies Satan!

Ex-porn star pays for lap dances to tell strippers about Christ!

NY judge takes away woman’s child for The Sin of Slack!

Institute for Creation Research “scientifically” “proves” earth is only 6,000 years old!

Family Research Council wants to party like it’s 1899!

Three words: Combat. For. Christ.

Glory!

Friday night: Maine 4, Boston College 1
Saturday night: Maine 3, Boston College 1

Take that, trust fund brats!

So I suppose there’s no sense beating around the bush when the news is this big:

As of next year sometime, there will officially be a Mrs. Heavy Metal Librarian.

Yup, popped the question t’other day. Even bought the little lady a rock. I don’t have a picture yet, since the jewelry store is still assembling it out of the stones we chose (we pick the finished product up this afternoon.) However, thanks to the magic of the internets, I was able to find a picture of a ring that was close enough in design to give you the general idea:

(The sapphire and diamonds in her ring are more rectangular than the roundish ones in this picture, as well as being bigger and purtier.)

No firm date on the actual bacchanal nuptials yet, but we’re thinking August ‘07, on a beach somewhere in the Seattle area, with a band and several kegs…and, as the climax of the ceremony, matching tattoos.

Disclaimer: despite the title of this post, there will be no conceiving anytime in the near future.

Many of you may have heard the fabulous stories of how it’s possible to spend a couple hundred dollars on an X-Box, hack into it, and turn it into a fully functional PC running Linux. Well, it’s true, and this website shows you how.

You’re welcome. Fight the power.

Philip K. Dick has long been one of my favorite authors, but cinematic adaptations of his movies have almost always been disasters. Hollywood seems to draw perverse pleasure in taking his tales of paranoia, altered perceptions, and subjective reality, and turning them into cheesy sci-fi actions films that have little if anything to do with the novels and stories they were supposedly based on. (“Total Recall” being the most egregious, but certainly not sole example. The fact that anyone could possibly read “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” and somehow transmorgify it into that festering lump of monkey shit is mindboggling to me.) Even “Blade Runner,” hands down the best PKD-based movie (and one of my alltime favorite films of any genre) succeeded on its own merits, despite deviating quite a bit from the source material.

So when I heard that the upcoming film adaptation of “A Scanner Darkly” was going to follow the book closely, and that the author’s family have had considerable input into the film, I breathed a sigh of relief. “Finally,” I thought, “they’re going to do PKD the right way.”

And then I found out the film is going to star Keanu Reeves.

God damn you, Hollywood. God damn your shit-filled souls.

Here’s an interesting article about the latest controversy involving Wikipedia. Apparently, Congressional staff members have been logging in and deleting unflattering information from the biographies of their bosses:

When the news broke last month that US Representative Martin Meehan’s staff director admitted deleting unflattering material from Meehan’s profile on Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia, it might have been a shock to some. Maybe it shouldn’t have been. Wikipedia administrators have since turned up thousands of flattering or disparaging changes in profiles of dozens of members of Congress.

Last week, volunteer investigators discovered that staff members in the office of Senator Norm Coleman, Republican of Minnesota, removed descriptions of him as a ‘’liberal Democrat” in college. A reference to Senator Dianne Feinstein’s payment of a 1992 fine for not disclosing her husband’s involvement in her campaign finances was removed by someone in her office.

The revelations that political bias has crept into articles raises new questions about an Internet phenomenon that some are acclaiming as the future of information. And the issues plaguing the site run deeper than political spin. Wikipedia touts itself as ‘’the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit,” and it is exactly that quality that is causing problems.

The article’s author uses this controversy to address the larger question of whether or not Wikipedia should be considered a reputable source for citing purposes. It’s a valid question. While I happen to think Wikipedia is a fantastic resource, and link to individual articles all the time in my blog, I don’t know if I would want students using, as a source for information in academic papers, a resource that can be so easily changed.

Blasphemy! We have recently learned that the most Sacred Nectar of Mother Ireland will soon be decreasing in potency! Yes, that’s right, children, there will soon be a lower-alcohol Guinness:

The brewery says it is a new Guinness for a new age in which Irish men want to drink but also want to keep their wits about them for more hectic and exacting lifestyles.

A Guinness executive said: “There are times when you want a couple of pints but you don’t want the fuller hit of a higher alcohol product.

“We believe this will be appealing to 25- to 45-year- old males – guys with family and work commitments.”

The Circle of Hell has yet to be invented that can administer a punishment appropriate to this crime. Not even Corpadverticus, the recently-constructed Circle Of Total Bastards, is painful enough. We must devise more violent tortures for the black-hearted vultures that run Guinness & Co. To the drawing board!