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Not So Brilliant!
10 Feb
Blasphemy! We have recently learned that the most Sacred Nectar of Mother Ireland will soon be decreasing in potency! Yes, that’s right, children, there will soon be a lower-alcohol Guinness:
The brewery says it is a new Guinness for a new age in which Irish men want to drink but also want to keep their wits about them for more hectic and exacting lifestyles.A Guinness executive said: “There are times when you want a couple of pints but you don’t want the fuller hit of a higher alcohol product.
“We believe this will be appealing to 25- to 45-year- old males – guys with family and work commitments.”
The Circle of Hell has yet to be invented that can administer a punishment appropriate to this crime. Not even Corpadverticus, the recently-constructed Circle Of Total Bastards, is painful enough. We must devise more violent tortures for the black-hearted vultures that run Guinness & Co. To the drawing board!
