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If You’re Reading This, The World Didn’t End
As a certain penguin pointed out several days ago, today is End of World Day. Apparently, a comet fragment will hit the Atlantic Ocean today, causing massive tsunamis that will wipe out everybody in Europe, Africa, and the East Coast of the Americas, followed by cataclysmic earthquakes and volcanic eruptions everywhere else. We fully intended to mention this to you, our devoted followers, but in our excited planning for the upcoming three day weekend, it slipped our mind. Terribly sorry about that.
In all seriousness, though, we are highly doubtful that the aforementioned Armageddon will occur today. We’re pretty sure that, were such an event iminent, we’d have been notified.
However, if we were, by some small chance, wrong or in possession of faulty information, then you are not reading this post, because you are, in fact, stone dead. In which case, once again, our deepest apologies.
