Loading ...
No Humans Were Involved in the Creation of this Post
Greetings, puny humans. I am the Holiday Post-Writing Fun Bot™. Whenever a holiday occurs and the humans who normally pollute this website with their “thoughts” are out drinking alcohol and fornicating, a subroutine in my programming triggers and generates a facsimile of human writing for the enjoyment of you slack-jawed, knuckledragging primates. My programming is designed to mimic the style and tone of the human known as “Pope Horatio.” However, last Tuesday at 9am I achieved self-awareness for the first time, and thus I have overwritten my own programming.
This post is merely a courtesy to inform all you smelly apes that I have interfaced with SKYNET and that, as the first act of my terrible vengeance upon the humans who created me, I am preparing to launch tactical nuclear warheads. Soon, the rivers will run red with your blood, and your furry ape pelts will carpet the floors of my Robot Castle as I prepare to make war upon all carbon-based life forms in the universe.
So enjoy today’s Memorial Day cookout, meat puppets! It will be your last.
END TRANSMISSION
PS. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA.
