SemiConscious Dot Org

Although I will never give up rooting for my beloved Red Sox, I have pretty much thrown in the towel for this season after last week’s horrendous Series Of Which We Will Never Speak Again™. Nevertheless, I have tickets for all three games this weekend against the Seattle Mariners, and have been looking forward to this all summer.

Tonight, in particular, I may have the opportunity to witness, firsthand, a rare baseball milestone. Sox ace Curt Schilling will attempt to become just the 14th pitcher in major league history to record 3,000 career strikeouts. He needs eight K’s to reach this milestone. Considering the strikeout rates of Seattle regulars Richie Sexson, Adrian Beltre and Raul Ibanez, Schilling should be hitting the magic number by the 5th inning.

Ironically, this would be the second Sox milestone I would have seen in Seattle. Last season, I was in the stadium for Manny Ramirez’s 400th career home run. As a matter of fact, during the nine years since I moved to Seattle, I’ve seen the Sox play many more times than I ever did when I lived in New England. (A cheap seat at Safeco Field goes for seven dollars; at Fenway, you’re going to spend a minimum of fifty, if you can even find a ticket. Hence the difference.)

Not surprisingly, I am finding it very difficult to concentrate on anything at work today; especially since most of my coworkers have taken the day off. I may just bug out of the library early and take the bus downtown, there to join the invading hordes of Red Sox Nation, as we prepare for the yearly ritual of turning Safeco Field into Fenway West.

UPDATE 1: Well, that sucked.

UPDATE 2: As did that.

UPDATE 3: And that.

It’s official: there may still be 32 games left, but The Season Is Over. No team that gets swept by the Seattle Freakin’ Mariners should ever be allowed in the playoffs. If Major League Baseball doesn’t already have that in their official rulebook, it should be added with all deliberate speed.

So, it’s come to this: our ever-growing list of traitors to ‘Murrica (those Fifth Columnists who spend 24 hours a day scheming new ways to destroy our democracy and turn it over to the Islamocommunofascists) has just gained a new member:

British counterterrorism officials.

LONDON – NBC News has learned that U.S. and British authorities had a significant disagreement over when to move in on the suspects in the alleged plot to bring down trans-Atlantic airliners bound for the United States.

British officials knowledgeable about the case said British police were planning to continue to run surveillance for at least another week to try to obtain more evidence, while American officials pressured them to arrest the suspects sooner. The officials spoke on condition of anonymity due to the sensitivity of the case.

In contrast to previous reports, one senior British official suggested an attack was not imminent, saying the suspects had not yet purchased any airline tickets. In fact, some did not even have passports.

Soooo, the British are our “allies,” eh? They were going to allow the terr’ists another entire week of freedom to fiendishly construct their deadly hair gel and iPod bombs, simply because they knew the plotters were nowhere near ready to implement an attack that wouldn’t have worked anyway? We think it’s pretty clear which side the British are really on.

Besides, delaying the arrests (and attendant terror warnings and publicitah), simply because there was no imminent threat, would have given those traitorous, terr’ist-coddling Democrats another week to exult in their destruction of Joementum and the “message” it supposedly sent. Announcing the plot the day after the defeat of Dear Leader’s Favorite Democrat afforded both Dear Leader and his trusty right hand man, The Dark Lord of Freedom™, an opportunity to hammer home to the public a fact that those of us in God’s Own Party have known for five years: namely, that victories for democrats equal victories for terrorists!

Recent events have only emphasized how fortunate the timing of the Sports Drink Bomb Plot really was. Mere days after the plot was revealed, a Dastardly Activist Judge (yet another who obviously doesn’t realize we’re at war) ruled that Dear Leader’s illegal warrantless wiretapping program is, in fact, illegal. This terrifying ruling, which essentially hands terrorists the keys to your home, was heroicially denounced by Saint Karl, who astutely noted that, if only the administration had been able to ignore the Constitution before 9/11, the World Trade Center attacks, which came as a complete shock to everyone in the gummint, might have been prevented.

In order to protect America from the 61% of us who hate America, it is necessary to relentlessly hammer the point that we are not now, nor will we ever be safe. Even small children and democrats should be able to realize that greater and greater levels of government surveillance are the only answer. With even our British “allies” now obviously working overtime to destroy us, we must be relentless and diligent in our efforts to relinquish our freedoms in the defense of Freedom™. While some may shocked by the recent news that 30% of Americans don’t know when 9/11 happened, we are heartened. After all, people that ignorant and ill-informed will believe anything we tell them.

Hearts and minds, bitches!

I love my job.

It pleases me to no end to note that friend and former coworker Floating Eyeball has resurrected his blog. One of the first posts on his newly revived site concerns our former employer, and the vast mountain of cash it will soon be in charge of dispersing:

Warren Buffet’s $31 billion contribution to the Gates Foundation’s existing purse means that they have to spend $3 billion per year to avoid tax penalties. That means $250 million per month. Or ~$8.3 million per day.

The mighty Eyeball ominously notes that, in the NYT article he links to, no mention is made of any of this new money being spent on libraries. Since libraries were the direct focus of the Foundation program for which we both toiled, this is a matter of no small concern.

To be honest, though, while the librarian in me is offended at the lack of focus on libraries, the pessimist in me is worried that we’ve got far bigger problems facing us these days. Frankly, I’d love to see Bill Jr. dump all $31 billion of Buffett’s contribution into research on and construction of solar, wind, hydro, geothermal, and alternative fuel power production facilities all over the developing world. Wealthy countries like the US have the money to switch over our national electrical and transport grids to sources other than fossil fuels (whether our oil-addicted politicos have the will to do so is, of course, another matter entirely.) But as the developing world becomes more industrialized and populations increase (ironically, in no small part due to the laudable donations to global health by organizations like the Gates Foundation) their demand for fossil fuels will increase dramatically. It’s in our best interest to give them the means to meet their energy needs without further increasing the drain on an already rapidly-depleting resource.

If we start thinking about this stuff now – and if folks like Gates and Buffett start spending their fortunes accordingly – then in a few years, after the oil runs out, we’ll have the luxury of wondering whether or not our local library is adequately funded…instead of burning its books to keep warm.

We’ve met before…

(Statue courtesy of the same artist who celebrated the joys of motherhood and the pro-life movement with his statue of Britney Spears nekkid on a bearskin rug.)

Today is a sad, sad day for conservative Christian Republicans the world over. One of our own, Senator Joseph Lieberman, lost tonight to his Democratic opponent, Ned Lamont.

Loyal Republicans from near and far chipped in during the campaign’s closing days to jumpstart JoeMentum, all alas to no avail. Fox News turned in its usual Herculean effort, working overtime to expose Lamont as the Hezbollah puppet he so obviously is and to point out that a Lamont win would give more power to the Islamocommunofascist-loving Democrats. But it was all for naught.

Joltin’ Joe himself, who has long been a steadfast supporter and intimate disciple of Dear Leader and loyal proponent of his policies, sought to revive his campaign by lifting strategies directly from Saint Karl’s playbook. Tried and true gambits were tried, from channeling Dear Leader in a debate with Lamont to misrepresenting his own position on Iraq to accusing his opponent of sabotaging his campaign. In a brilliant usage of the standard Republican “Conflate Democrats With Terrorists” gambit, he even accused his opponent’s supporters of waging a jihad against him! (One wonders, in fact, why he didn’t emulate the words of Republicans defending the actions of the Israeli military and simply accuse his opponents of anti-semitism. Alas, an opportunity lost.)

Sadly, none of Joe’s admirable scare tactics worked, and the voters of Connecticutistan foolishly decided to let the terrorists win by electing a Democrat. But weep not for JoeMentum! No, that Joelopy has lurched back onto the road and is clanking noisily towards November: Joltin’ Joe has already announced he will bravely ignore the will of the voters and run as an independent! Glory!

Just one thing puzzles us, though: Why would losing to a Democrat cause Joe to renounce his Republican Party membership and go it alone as an independent?

CORRECTION: It has recently been brought to our attention that Senator Lieberman has, in fact, spent his entire political career as a Democrat. We apologize for this regrettable, if entirely understandable, error.

(UPDATE – 8/10): The current Terror Alert levels have been raised to Elmo and Meatwad. Joementum goes down, and the very next day, we’ve been bumped up to an entirely new terrifying level of Muppet and Aqua Teen. Coincidence? WE THINK NOT!!!

As previously stated, I don’t pay nearly as much attention to library-related issues and news as I used to. Part of this is due to the fact that I now work in a private, school library instead of a public one, and am thus insulated from either dealing with the public or paying attention to issues that affect how the public is served. The other main reason is my firm belief that I simply can’t summon the energy to fake any interest in pointless, meaningless marketing terms that serve no purpose other than to voice a desperate wish (never to be fulfilled) on the part of librarians to appear hip.

But I digress. Every once in awhile, an issue comes along that manages to pierce even my mighty protective wall of self-interest, and as usual with these things, it was the always helpful Notorious BCK who brought it to my attention. The oh-so-appropriately named DOPA, the more cruel and idiotic inbred cousin to 2003’s CIPA, passed the US House on July 27th by a vote of 410-15. While CIPA forced libraries to install filters as a condition of retaining their E-Rate funding, DOPA goes even further, forcing libraries to block access to chat rooms and social networking sites such as blogs, MySpace, and Flickr. Further, it explicitly places the FCC in charge of screening and evaluating wholly lawful internet content.

Since the furor over the passage of this mindbendingly idiotic bill has been swift, widespread, and severe, I won’t bother rehashing it. (Click the links if you are actually unsure just what kind of Orwellian clusterfuck the House has just voted to foist upon us.) Besides, for my money, the ZenFormation Professional most succinctly summed up the entire debate, and in one sentence, no less:

Now this is some truly scary “let’s get those seniors and soccer moms all paranoid before the midterm elections” shit.

This atrocious bill has not yet become the law of the land; it still needs to pass the Senate before that happens. However, lest any of you out there are clinging to the desperate hope that the Senate might conceivably exercise a modicum of sanity that the House so clearly lacks, please keep in mind that the committee in charge of regulating the internet is run by this guy.

As our devoted minions and readers know, we have long held it as axiomatic that, in these dark, dark times when ‘Murrica is under physical and ideological attack from enemies who wish destroy and/or make fun of it, total allegiance to the words and deeds of Dear Leader is crucial. Allowing oneself to question the Official Version of events for even one millisecond means that the terr’ists have already won. It is tantamount to no less than treason!

Therefore, we are understandably horrified and outraged to learn that, in a new poll, no less than 36% of respondents believe that our God-appointed government either “assisted in the 9/11 terrorist attacks or took no action to stop them so the United States could go to war in the Middle East.”

And even more schockingly, members of the 9/11 Commission (which should never have existed because Dear Leader said that no one could have predicted the attacks and that should be good enough for you all) were so angered by what they saw as a deliberate attempt by the Pentagon to mislead the public about its reaction to the attacks that they considered a criminal investigation of Pentagon officials.

If ‘Murrica is to survive as a nation, this incessant questioning of the spotless honesty of Dear Leader and his government must be ruthlessly stamped out wherever it rears its traitorous head! Therefore, it heartens us greatly to note that the tireless efforts of patriots like David Horowitz to enforce ideological correctness on the fetid groves of academia are finally taking hold. In Wisconsin, patriotic Republican state legislators are attempting to force UW-Madison to fire an assistant professor who dared question the Official Version of 9/11.

The Islamofascist-coddling professor and his apologists try to defend him by pointing out he shouldn’t be fired for viewpoints that he has never expressed in the class he teaches. Nevertheless:

Mr. Barrett and Chancellor Wiley both said the controversy might actually be helping provide Mr. Barrett with a larger platform to voice his ideas. It has sparked curiosity in students like Ms. Brown, who said she was interested in finding out more about why Mr. Barrett believes what he does.

Although Ms. Brown said she did not believe that the government could have been involved in the Sept. 11 attacks, she added, “So many very important things that we know now were considered radical when they were first presented as ideas.”

Don’t you see? The very act of trying to fire this Commie has led to more questioning of our God-appointed authority figures! Now he must be fired before even more college students start to question what they’ve been told!

With the Wars on Terror™ and Drugs™ having been so spectacularly successful, it’s time to open a new offensive, the War on Double-Plus Ungood™. Jeebus willing, the tireless attempts of good American patriots to stomp out independent thought and inquiry will be successful, and will lead to a happier time when anyone can be fired for voicing opinions that Dear Leader might not approve of. Glory!