SemiConscious Dot Org

Today is a sad, sad day for conservative Christian Republicans the world over. One of our own, Senator Joseph Lieberman, lost tonight to his Democratic opponent, Ned Lamont.

Loyal Republicans from near and far chipped in during the campaign’s closing days to jumpstart JoeMentum, all alas to no avail. Fox News turned in its usual Herculean effort, working overtime to expose Lamont as the Hezbollah puppet he so obviously is and to point out that a Lamont win would give more power to the Islamocommunofascist-loving Democrats. But it was all for naught.

Joltin’ Joe himself, who has long been a steadfast supporter and intimate disciple of Dear Leader and loyal proponent of his policies, sought to revive his campaign by lifting strategies directly from Saint Karl’s playbook. Tried and true gambits were tried, from channeling Dear Leader in a debate with Lamont to misrepresenting his own position on Iraq to accusing his opponent of sabotaging his campaign. In a brilliant usage of the standard Republican “Conflate Democrats With Terrorists” gambit, he even accused his opponent’s supporters of waging a jihad against him! (One wonders, in fact, why he didn’t emulate the words of Republicans defending the actions of the Israeli military and simply accuse his opponents of anti-semitism. Alas, an opportunity lost.)

Sadly, none of Joe’s admirable scare tactics worked, and the voters of Connecticutistan foolishly decided to let the terrorists win by electing a Democrat. But weep not for JoeMentum! No, that Joelopy has lurched back onto the road and is clanking noisily towards November: Joltin’ Joe has already announced he will bravely ignore the will of the voters and run as an independent! Glory!

Just one thing puzzles us, though: Why would losing to a Democrat cause Joe to renounce his Republican Party membership and go it alone as an independent?

CORRECTION: It has recently been brought to our attention that Senator Lieberman has, in fact, spent his entire political career as a Democrat. We apologize for this regrettable, if entirely understandable, error.

(UPDATE – 8/10): The current Terror Alert levels have been raised to Elmo and Meatwad. Joementum goes down, and the very next day, we’ve been bumped up to an entirely new terrifying level of Muppet and Aqua Teen. Coincidence? WE THINK NOT!!!

As previously stated, I don’t pay nearly as much attention to library-related issues and news as I used to. Part of this is due to the fact that I now work in a private, school library instead of a public one, and am thus insulated from either dealing with the public or paying attention to issues that affect how the public is served. The other main reason is my firm belief that I simply can’t summon the energy to fake any interest in pointless, meaningless marketing terms that serve no purpose other than to voice a desperate wish (never to be fulfilled) on the part of librarians to appear hip.

But I digress. Every once in awhile, an issue comes along that manages to pierce even my mighty protective wall of self-interest, and as usual with these things, it was the always helpful Notorious BCK who brought it to my attention. The oh-so-appropriately named DOPA, the more cruel and idiotic inbred cousin to 2003’s CIPA, passed the US House on July 27th by a vote of 410-15. While CIPA forced libraries to install filters as a condition of retaining their E-Rate funding, DOPA goes even further, forcing libraries to block access to chat rooms and social networking sites such as blogs, MySpace, and Flickr. Further, it explicitly places the FCC in charge of screening and evaluating wholly lawful internet content.

Since the furor over the passage of this mindbendingly idiotic bill has been swift, widespread, and severe, I won’t bother rehashing it. (Click the links if you are actually unsure just what kind of Orwellian clusterfuck the House has just voted to foist upon us.) Besides, for my money, the ZenFormation Professional most succinctly summed up the entire debate, and in one sentence, no less:

Now this is some truly scary “let’s get those seniors and soccer moms all paranoid before the midterm elections” shit.

This atrocious bill has not yet become the law of the land; it still needs to pass the Senate before that happens. However, lest any of you out there are clinging to the desperate hope that the Senate might conceivably exercise a modicum of sanity that the House so clearly lacks, please keep in mind that the committee in charge of regulating the internet is run by this guy.