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9/11 Verdict: The Clenis Did It!
Today, we Republicans mark our fifth anniversary of not having a pre-9/11 mindset. For five years now, Dear Leader and his minions have tirelessly fought the good fight against all those enemies (namely, Democrats and the Bill of Rights) who would destroy America’s greatness. On this most solemn of days, a day that calls all Americans to a unity of purpose and defense of freedom, it heartens us greatly to note that those patriots at ABC will attempt to teach us that day’s most enduring lesson – namely, that Dear Leader is blameless and that it was all Bill Clinton’s fault.
Obviously, all real Americans instinctively know this to be true already, but since the soulless, remorseless Left has been relentless in their attempts to deflect blame from The Clenis, it’s a message that must be constantly repeated over and over and over again. (To quote Dear Leader himself, we must always “Catapult the Propaganda.”)
Oh sure, The Left will try to tell you that the movie was written by a conservative activist and is partly based on information from a Bush administration PR official. Further, they will try to confuse you into believing that, since the climactic scene blaming the Clenis administration for not capturing Bin Laden never actually happened, it is somehow “false!” Heck, they may even tell you that, politics aside, the movie is just plain terrible! But fear not: our allies in the patriotic, America-loving Republican wing of the media have leapt to the film’s defense, praising its many virtues while simultaneously keeping up the attack on the Clenis.
While the “Blame Clenis” division of the War on Terra has been spectacularly efficient, the War’s secondary operation (that of actually catching Bin Laden) has been somewhat less successful. Nevertheless, blessed as we are with a Preznit who, unlike Clinton, has never let a terrorist mastermind get away, and loyal allies like Pakistan who will stop at nothing to thwart the Taliban, we are assured of eventual total victory.
We salute you, ABC and conservative media! Your tireless efforts to deflect criticism from Dear Leader and glorify his God-appointed regime, unfettered by the limitations imposed by such fripperies as “evidence” and “facts,” are in the finest tradition of such visionary filmmakers as Leni Riefenstahl and D.W. Griffith. Glory!
