Loading ...
The Party of Personal Responsibility
We have a confession: we recently suffered a momentary crisis of faith. As a Christian conservative in good standing, we were conflicted over news that Republican Congressman Mark Foley traded sexually explicit emails with a 16 year old page. Moreover, revelations that Foley had been doing this for years with other pages, and that the House Republican leadership had known and covered it up, caused us to fret mightily. While the scandal raised any number of moral and ethical questions, we immediately focused in on the most crucial one, namely: How would it affect our beloved GOP in the midterm elections?
Clearly, it was imperative to get to the bottom of this, and find out who was responsible, as quickly as possible. Luckily, the 101st Fighting Keyboarders quickly leapt into the fray. Using the same rhetorical skill they have wielded so effectively in endlessly agitating for a war none of them will fight in, they quickly cut to the heart of the scandal, identifying those responsible for a Republican Congressman’s sexual pathologies: the victims themselves, Democrats, liberals, the voters who elected Foley, tolerance and diversity, political correctness, the Congressional Gay Conspiracy, and Foley’s own staff!
Whew, thank the Baby Jesus that’s settled! Now that we’ve exposed the latest efforts of the America-Hating Left to destroy Freedom™, our valiant Christian Republican Morality Warriors can get back to more important business, like legalizing torture and permanent detention in the defense of democracy. Glory!
(Several links via that commie penguin. )
