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Gays and Sluts and Hedonists, Oh My!
With the Satanic Pagan holiday Halloween just around the corner, it seems an opportune time to inform our loyal readers that America is quickly being taken over by monsters. And by “Monsters,” we of course mean “Liberals.” It’s not enough for The Left to undermine the War On Terra™; no, the propogation of their vile creed requires that they also destroy America from the inside, by undermining the traditional family.
Sadly, it appears their efforts may have succeeded. For the first time in the 230-year history of God’s Favorite Country, godless sinner households outnumber proper, Heaven-bound married households.
What it boils down to is that our Shining City On A Hill is under attack from legions of mincing, lisping, immaculately dressed Visigoths. It’s getting so that a proper Christian can no longer do his Godly duty and discriminate against the gays without fear of opposition! Moreover, the business world, formerly the exclusive arena of men while the women stayed home to serve Christ in domestic servitude, is being overrun by hordes of heavily tattooed sluts! For two hundred years, Our Nation survived on a rigid, morally upstanding code of “Man in Office, Woman in Kitchen, Gays in Closet.” Now that code is crumbling down around our ears!
We’re not sure if this loathsome trend can be reversed, if the hedonistic slutty-dressing body-inking kinky-sex-loving sin-living new majority can somehow be forced back towards the proper conservative lifestyle that has proven so spectacularly successful in The Red States. But the news is not all bad: if, indeed, we must write off this generation as irrevocably Hellbound, there is still hope for the future. After all, we can always outbreed them.
Glory!
