SemiConscious Dot Org

Staff meetings bore the living shit out of me. So much otherwise productive time wasted, listening to management blathering on, ad nauseum, about topics that could be adequately exhausted in a three paragraph All Staff email. The fact that these meetings always take place in the library after school lets out (ie, the exact time I’m usually shutting the door and cranking up the tunes so I can get some work done) makes them even more annoying. Hate ‘em, hate ‘em, hate ‘em.

Recently, I’ve given up even the pretense of paying attention during these meetings, and have spent my time doodling in my notebook. It’s the perfect cover, because to the uninformed observer, it looks like I’m furiously taking notes about the crushingly important topic at hand.

For some reason that still escapes me, I’ve started scanning and uploading these bizarre little doodles to my Flickr page. I’m sure these scribblings reveal far more than is wise in a public forum about the sordid depths of my depravity…and to dozens of complete strangers, to boot! And Lord knows, I sure as shit can’t draw.

Oh well, buy the ticket, take the ride.

It goes without saying that we applaud last month’s Senate bill that gives Dear Leader the tools he needs to combat the threat of Terra. Habeas Corpus, the right to trial by a jury of one’s peers, and the Geneva Conventions were Old Europe, Pre 9/11 Mindset laws anyway, quaint and totally unsuited to this Brave New World.

Predictably, many of the usual Chicken Littles squawked over the Senate bill, attempting to fill the public’s heads with phantom fears of law enforcement run amok, abusing their powers. To silence the naysayers, and to prove to the rest of you that such fears are groundless, we note a recent case in which Dear Leader’s brown-shirted blue-suited protectors used restraint, prudence, and a sense of perspective in combatting one of the greatest terrorismist threats facing America today: 14 year old girls calling Dear Leader an idiot on Myspace!

While we agree wholeheartedly with the agents’ actions in rounding up this young punk, we are sorely disappointed with their eventual decision to let her go. Since annoying people on the Internets is now illegal, they would’ve been perfectly within their rights to charge her with a federal crime. Perhaps a little quality time with our friend Mr. Waterboard will set her straight!

Damn whippersnappers! Git offa mah lawn and into Gitmo!