SemiConscious Dot Org

You wanna know the real reason I erased the political satire blog that I used to maintain on this site? You wanna know the real reason I banished Pope Nixon to the pages of a virtually unread DailyKos journal? It wasn’t, as I previously suggested, that I had run out of the necessary level of fury to maintain two blogs simultaneously. And although I’m certainly happy that we’ve finally put the adults back in charge of Congress, it’s not like I think that our six-year-long national crisis is suddenly over.

Nope, the real reason I killed the other blog is because I broke my satire bone.

In actuality, the murderous reign of George W. Bush and his hand-picked cabal of liars, thieves and killers ceased to be funny, in even a “gallows humor” sense, the second New Orleans flooded. As American corpses bloated in the Louisiana sun and our “President” strummed his guitar and told Brownie he was doin’ a heckuva job, the last vestige of snark potential drained out of his “Presidency.” There was nothing funny anymore about this stupid, incompetent asshole we elected to the most powerful office on the planet, if there ever really had been to begin with.

But still I kept at it, vainly trying to extract some humor from the godawful sinkhole of spitefulness and resentment our country has sunk into since the cursed day he took office. And the comments dropped off, and my attempts at satire grew more rote and half-hearted, as we all lost interest. So I finally gave up and decided to blog as myself again, instead of the fake “NeoCon” persona I’d created for myself.

Besides, the blog wasn’t really very funny. Jesus’ General can pull off the “damning with fake praise” schtick. Sister Nancy can pull it off. Jon Swift can pull it off. Conservatives for American Values can pull it off. I couldn’t, at least not anymore.

Case in point: Our “President,” a man who has been handed everything he’s ever received in life, a man who’s had Daddy and Daddy’s friends around since Day 1 to bail him out of his innumerable fuckups, a man for whom the concept of taking responsibility for one’s actions is meaningless, a man who knows absolute jack shit about “sacrifice,” has been blathering about “sacrifice” for weeks now, as some sort of cure-all that will magically extricate us from the blood-soaked clusterfuck he created in Iraq. Yesterday, a mere two months after the American voter put the Democrats in charge of Congress in a desperate attempt to stem the tide of his insanity, the man who has singlehandedly shattered American credibility sternly warns those same Democrats that pulling troops out of Iraq “would shatter American credibility.” You can’t make this shit up!

And tonight, he outdid himself! Tonight, our Emperor With No Brains gets on national television to announce that he’s “surging” 21,500 additional American troops into Iraq. 21,500 troops who will serve no purpose other than to create more targets for the insurgents, 21,500 troops will who bring the total number of American personnel in Iraq to less than half the number that the actual generals were telling him three years ago he would need to occupy and pacify the country.

Oh, and did I mention that, barely a week after pleading for a new spirit of bipartisanship and cooperation with Congress, he sent the first surge of new troops to Iraq, before bothering to tell the public he had decided to send more troops?

I mean, c’mon, people! This is comedy gold, and I got nothin’! I’m long past jokes and snark. All I can do is sputter in impotent rage at the spectacle of a pitiful, vindictive little man, who has so much blood on his hands already, getting ready to spill some more blood. More Americans will come home in flag-draped coffins that we’ll never see, dead for no reason whatsoever. More Iraqis will be slaughtered, for no reason whatsoever. And all because this arrogant little shit can’t admit that he fucked up.

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.

Update 1: Not only will Bush’s “surge” make absolutely no difference in the Iraq Quagmire except to get more Americans killed, it will also draw critical troops away from Afghanistan (you know, where the guy who attacked us actually lives) just as the Taliban is planning a major new offensive.

Update 2: But hey, at least the Democrats in are charge of Congress now, right? We elected them to stop Bush’s insanity, and that’s what they’re going to do, right?

Well, no, not really. They’re just going to complain about it instead. Go, Dems!