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Well, That Kills My Presidential Hopes.
Granted, my chances of being elected President of the United States in 2008 had already taken a near-fatal blow once it became clear that no one who swears on Teh Internets can ever be elected. Nevertheless, I was prepared to soldier valiantly on in pursuit of some party’s nomination.
However, today I came across this USA Today/ Gallup poll, which pretty much sealed my fate:
If your party nominated a well-qualified Candidate For WH ‘08 who was _, would you vote for that person?
Now, it’s true that, as an atheist, I do spend most of my free time plotting the destruction of Christianity and inevitable triumph of world Communism when I’m not busy sacrificing babies to Satan. The part that really bums me out is that, according to this poll, I would get walloped in a head-to-head contest by any of the three batshit loonies currently being touted as leading Republican presidential contenders: Mitt Romney (“Mormon”), Rudy Giuliani (“Married for third time”), and John “Grampa Simpson” McCain (“72 years old”).
Given the low regard in which atheists are held by the Jeebus-loving majority, I suppose I should be glad that Gallup didn’t include “convicted child molesters” in their poll. It would have been too depressing for words to see that kinder-diddling perverts are still more electable in this country than people who refuse to proclaim allegiance to the Invisible Sky Buddy.
But maybe all is not lost: I hear the People Who Hate People Party still needs a candidate.
