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Cry “Havoc!” and Let Slip the Logs of War
I’m guessing you people think this blog is strictly all about the ranting and the loud music and the beer and the making fun of our Preznit on the intertubes. But I’m here to tell you you’re wrong. We liberrians like to give people information, to answer their questions, to empower. Shit, it’s what we do. And I am here to tell you that I’m chock full of empowerment.
For instance, you know how when you’re in a foreign country where they don’t speak American, and you suddenly have to take a crap, and you don’t know how to ask for a bathroom in the native’s crazy moon language? Man, that chews all kinds of ass.
Luckily for you, however, you have me around to drop some knowledge. It just so happens that, during one of my many sojourns on the interwebs, I stumbled across a handy Toilet Cheat Sheet. So the next time you find yourself in, say, Azerbaijan, and you want to ask the locals “Hey, where’s the shitter?” without calling undue attention to yourself as a rich fat stupid American, you’ve got the goods. Just print this bad boy up the next time you leave the friendly confines of God’s Favorite Country, and you’ll be good to go!
You’re welcome, dingus. (Hey, it’s Friday. You’re lucky you got any post at all.)
