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I Should’ve Used the Xerox Assjet 790
Bad news, kids. In an age when your every movement, transaction, purchase, debt, statement, and/or bowel movement is recorded somewhere for future use by Shadowy Persons Unknown, here’s yet another one:
Most digital copiers manufactured in the past five years have disk drives – the same kind of data-storage mechanism found in computers – to reproduce documents. As a result, the seemingly innocuous machines that commonly are used to spit out copies of tax returns for millions of Americans can retain the data being scanned.If the data on the copier’s disk aren’t protected with encryption or an overwrite mechanism, and if someone with malicious motives gets access to the machine, industry experts say, sensitive information could get into the wrong hands.
Well, that’s just great! When I run for President, the opposing candidate’s political operatives will go over every record of my life with a fine toothed comb, looking for dirt to smear me with…and eventually, they’ll stumble across all those xeroxes I made of my ass on copy machines in every library and organization I’ve ever worked in.
Be prepared for the “AssGate” scandal, starting around, oh, 2016 or so. It’ll make Watergate, Iran-Contra, and DubYa’s nonexistant WMD’s Look Like fratboy pranks in comparison.
