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Early Clubhouse Leader for 2007 Darwin Award
For those of you kids out there who may be new to The Interwebs, the Darwin Awards salute those brave, selfless souls who serve mankind by voluntarily removing their defective genes from the breeding population in hilarious ways.
In the spirit of support for this magnificent and worthy institution, we would like to offer our own nominee for the prestigious award: this guy!
He then leapt on a table and dropped his trousers as customers fled screaming.A witness said: “There was blood everywhere. Everyone ran out of the place.”
Surgeons battling to save the severed willy tried to sew it back on in the first UK op of its kind.
Quick-thinking cops recovered the organ from the restaurant floor after subduing its crazed owner with CS gas.
The manhood was packed in ice and taken with the man to London’s St Thomas’s Hospital.
A spokesman there confirmed doctors had attempted to re-attach it, but the hospital refused to say whether the procedure had been successful.
Technically, since our nominee had the bad sense to remain alive, he shouldn’t be eligible for the top prize, but only an Honorable Mention. However, since the nature of the injury is one that will preclude his ever breeding (assuming he hasn’t already), we feel the judges should make an exception in his case.
Unless, of course, those meddlesome doctors are successful, thus ruining his chance to win.
