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6 Responses to “Proof that God Has a Sense of Humor”
1
Chris Says:
I love the list of Falwell quotes. Mostly they’re batshit insane, but I think we can all agree with this one:
“Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan.”—Rev Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)
Or possibly the other way around? Maybe Falwell was just referring to himself in the third person. But if Falwell is Satan, is it legally possible to sell your soul to yourself?
Falwell probably isn’t Satan—Satan prefers Led Zeppelin, wet t-shirt contests, and liberals—he’s more like the Antichrist. Compare and contrast Jesus H. Christ and Jerry “Doinking Mom in the outhouse” Falwell:
Jesus: long-haired, pacifist, teller of parables / stand-up comic, Pharisee-hater, egalitarian, likes being around lots of men, the occasional hooker and tax collector, great abs.
Jerry Falwell: short-haired, warmongering, chronic foot-in-mouth disease (Who caused 9/11, O Forgiving One?), Pharisee-to-the-max (all life is sanctimonious), fat fuck.
Hooray, the Antichrist is dead!
Are there anti-condolensces? “I’m not sorry he’s dead and I’m glad he’s dead. I hope all of his lemming-brained followers will follow suit with ceremonial suicides, seppuku, and well-aimed gunshots to the cranium.”
I wonder what he’s thinking right now.
Jerry: “This place seems kinda hot. Where’s Jesus?”
Mohammad Atta: “Not as hat as Riyadh in the summer. You see any virgins around?”
Beelzebub: “Shut up, you two! Keep shoveling that Everest of duck shit! Another word of out you, Falwell, and I’m re-incarnating you as a lesbian Islamic abortionist!”
I want to know where Falwell is buried, so I can piss on his grave.
He’s dead, I’m glad. I hope Pat “Crazy Grin” Robertson chokes on a pretzel, or the dick of Ted Haggard / Scott Stapp / Tony Snow.
I love the list of Falwell quotes. Mostly they’re batshit insane, but I think we can all agree with this one:
“Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan.”—Rev Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)
May 15th, 2007 at 3:30 pmSo, in other words, Billy Graham is Jerry Falwell’s boss?
May 15th, 2007 at 5:12 pmOr possibly the other way around? Maybe Falwell was just referring to himself in the third person. But if Falwell is Satan, is it legally possible to sell your soul to yourself?
May 15th, 2007 at 6:16 pmFalwell probably isn’t Satan—Satan prefers Led Zeppelin, wet t-shirt contests, and liberals—he’s more like the Antichrist. Compare and contrast Jesus H. Christ and Jerry “Doinking Mom in the outhouse” Falwell:
Jesus: long-haired, pacifist, teller of parables / stand-up comic, Pharisee-hater, egalitarian, likes being around lots of men, the occasional hooker and tax collector, great abs.
Jerry Falwell: short-haired, warmongering, chronic foot-in-mouth disease (Who caused 9/11, O Forgiving One?), Pharisee-to-the-max (all life is sanctimonious), fat fuck.
Hooray, the Antichrist is dead!
Are there anti-condolensces? “I’m not sorry he’s dead and I’m glad he’s dead. I hope all of his lemming-brained followers will follow suit with ceremonial suicides, seppuku, and well-aimed gunshots to the cranium.”
I wonder what he’s thinking right now.
Jerry: “This place seems kinda hot. Where’s Jesus?”
Mohammad Atta: “Not as hat as Riyadh in the summer. You see any virgins around?”
Beelzebub: “Shut up, you two! Keep shoveling that Everest of duck shit! Another word of out you, Falwell, and I’m re-incarnating you as a lesbian Islamic abortionist!”
I want to know where Falwell is buried, so I can piss on his grave.
He’s dead, I’m glad. I hope Pat “Crazy Grin” Robertson chokes on a pretzel, or the dick of Ted Haggard / Scott Stapp / Tony Snow.
May 15th, 2007 at 7:28 pmThanks, Karl. I just spit beer all over my monitor. You owe me one 25 ounce Damned, the only beer appropriate to drink in honor of Ol’ Jerry.
May 15th, 2007 at 7:37 pmGood riddance. Religious zealots: stay the fuck out of other people’s lives!
May 15th, 2007 at 8:04 pm