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With This Funk I Thee Wed
Well kids, I am happy to report that Saturday’s wedding went off without a hitch. The weather was perfect, the Special Lady Friend was gorgeous, I only fucked up one line during the ceremony (which wasn’t a crucial one, and made everyone laugh), the reception (a lighthouse cruise around Casco Bay) was awesome, we ordered so much extra food that I’ve been gorging myself on lobster rolls for three straight days, everybody made drunken idiots of themselves in the Old Port bars afterwards (of which much photographic evidence exists)...and a rookie pitcher for the Red Sox threw a no-hitter. The only thing that could’ve possibly made the evening better would be if the Yankees had also lost, but hey, nobody ever said the world was perfect.
“Bla bla bla, yadda yadda yadda,” you’re all saying. “Dude, this blog is called Heavy Metal Librarian. What we really want to know is: how much metal did you sneak into the song mix for the reception?”
Alas, the answer to that question is “None.” As I put together the track list for the mix, I tried and tried to find some wedding-appropriate metal to stick in there, but nothing seemed to fit. So instead, I just stuck to a general theme of “Funk, With the Occasional Curveball.” Of course, the Special Lady Friend had to have her mellow folk-rock in there too, so she picked all the slow songs while I concentrated on the jams.
I used a couple of artists twice when I just couldn’t decide on one representative track, although frankly, Stevie Wonder could’ve been in the mix six or seven times and it still wouldn’t have been enough. My only regret is that I couldn’t justify more White Stripes tunes in the mix. Jack White may have catchy melodies and tasty riffs falling out of his ass, but their stuff just isn’t danceable. Ah, well.
Without further ado, the tracklist:
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