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Friday Monkey Blogging (Monday “We’re All Doomed” Edition)
You really thought it was over, didn’t you? You thought that, by placating the Monkey God, you could somehow keep his followers from vanquishing the human race and taking over, didn’t you?
“Sure,” you said. “Let’s give monkeys the right to vote. Let’s set them up with all the conveniences we higher primates enjoy. Once they’ve all been to a swanky resort or two and sampled the joys of accupuncture and a nice urine rubdown, they’ll forget all about their plans to reduce humans to a savage state and hunt us for sport. Right? RIGHT??!?”
WRONG, CRAPHOUND!
Everywhere you look, the monkeys are on the warpath. Whether it’s destroying property in Malaysia, mugging tourists in China, or going on violent rampages in India, the pattern is clear: the Monkey God has sent his minions to war against their hairless cousins, and taking prisoners is not on their “to-do” list.
You may think that reactive measures like setting bounties on the gangster monkeys will save you, but it’s already far, far too late. The final outcome is inevitable. By the end of this calendar year, the tattered remnants of humanity will be huddled in caves, desperately hoping to evade the Extermination Teams sent out by our monkey overlords.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
