Friday Monkey Blogging (Monday “We’re All Doomed” Edition)
You really thought it was over, didn’t you? You thought that, by placating the Monkey God, you could somehow keep his followers from vanquishing the human race and taking over, didn’t you?
“Sure,” you said. “Let’s give monkeys the right to vote. Let’s set them up with all the conveniences we higher primates enjoy. Once they’ve all been to a swanky resort or two and sampled the joys of accupuncture and a nice urine rubdown, they’ll forget all about their plans to reduce humans to a savage state and hunt us for sport. Right? RIGHT??!?”
WRONG, CRAPHOUND!
Everywhere you look, the monkeys are on the warpath. Whether it’s destroying property in Malaysia, mugging tourists in China, or going on violent rampages in India, the pattern is clear: the Monkey God has sent his minions to war against their hairless cousins, and taking prisoners is not on their “to-do” list.
You may think that reactive measures like setting bounties on the gangster monkeys will save you, but it’s already far, far too late. The final outcome is inevitable. By the end of this calendar year, the tattered remnants of humanity will be huddled in caves, desperately hoping to evade the Extermination Teams sent out by our monkey overlords.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
“Hail to the Chimp” was a good movie. Mmmm, monkeys.
October 8th, 2007 at 9:05 pm[...] Check it out! While looking through the blogosphere we stumbled on an interesting post today.Here’s a quick excerptYou really thought it was over, didn t you? You thought that, by placating the Monkey God, you could somehow keep his followers from vanquishing the human race and taking over, didn t you? you said. s give monkeys the right to vote. Let s set them up with all the conveniences we higher… rampages in India, the pattern is clear: the Monkey God has sent his minions to war against… will be huddled in caves, desperately hoping to evade the Extermination Teams sent out by our monkey [...]
October 8th, 2007 at 9:48 pmFor us penguins, it’s monkey blogging every day of the week. Some of you monkeys have hair and some don’t, but it’s monkeys all the way down in the end, all the way to the feces-slingin’ at monkeys not part of your troop of monkeys (see: Rush Limbaugh).
October 9th, 2007 at 2:43 am– Badtux the Snarky Penguin