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Cue Manufactured Outrage in 3…2…1…
Great Zombie Jesus, it looks like Christianity is, yet again, under dire attack from the insidious forces of The Gay Agenda!
(Awesome pic via Badtux)
For those of you who may not know, The Gay Agenda is a fiendish supervillain who works 24-7 to turn all of America’s God-fearing children gayer than the Mayor of Gaytown. This insidious character has many weapons: in addition to zapping people with his Gay Laser of Gayness, he also works his dastardly plots through his allies in the Big Gay Evil Liberal Media.
Luckily, however, Rev. James Dobson is here to protect us from the terrifying menace of gay penguins:
Candi Cushman, education analyst for Focus on the Family Action, said the complaints over books are well-founded.“Most of these books don’t end up actually being removed,” she told Family News in Focus. “The few that do end up being removed are being removed mostly because they have sexual themes or are explicit.”
The book that topped the list this year was And Tango Makes Three, the story of “gay” penguins. It’s the second year in a row that a book with gay themes drew the most ire from parents.
“Parents have a right to object to their kids being exposed to material that they don’t feel like their child is psychologically prepared to handle,” Cushman said.
Unfortunately, these days, the allies of The Gay Agenda multiply faster than the offspring of “abstinence only” sex ed graduates. Chief among those who thirst to destroy America: J.K. Rowling! It wasn’t enough for this wanton trollop to write books specifically intended to turn children into Jesus-hatin’ witches. Nooo, she had to go and announce that one of her main characters is a homo:
Clearly, this Bride of Satan loathes Christanity with every twisted fiber of her being, and will stop at nothing to destroy it. Will no one answer the call to save our omnipotent, omniscient Lord and Creator from the dire threat to His very existence posed by the vile machinations of children’s book authors?
Yes, one man will. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Don Surber, Defender of Jeebus. Onward, brave, brave columnist! You do America proud, sir.
