And once again, you come crawling back for your fix. Like addicts, you spend every waking moment in feverish pursuit, that half-forgotten cigarette burning down between your shaking fingers as you scour the Interwebs in search of new music to sate your craving.

And I’m the pusherman, baby. I helped you out with a quick fix last week, but now you want more. And I deliver. I’ve sifted through the crap to discover the high grade shit you need to mainline in order to be considered even remotely cool. These are the albums you must want and own.

You’re welcome.

This year’s list features a lot of repeat offenders from 2005, so the musical pedigree is sound. And while the number of titles is smaller than last year’s jaw-dropping musical bonanza, quality may, in this case, make up for quantity. There are several releases here that I’m quite sure will still be in heavy rotation on my mp3 player years from now.

But I digress. Without further ado, the music:

30) Pelican, City of Echoes
29) Marnie Stern, In Advance of the Broken Arm
28) Dungen, Tio Bitar
27) Sage Francis, Human the Death Dance
26) Tomahawk, Anonymous
25) Modest Mouse, We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank
24) The Aliens, Astronomy for Dogs
23) Jesu, Conqueror
22) Battles, Mirrored
21) Earthless, Rhythms From a Cosmic Sky

20) Band of Horses, Cease To Begin
19) The Fratellis, Costello Music
18) Dropkick Murphys, The Meanest of Times
17) Menomena, Friend and Foe
16) Wilco, Sky Blue Sky
15) Son Volt, The Search
14) Dinosaur Jr, Beyond
13) Oceansize, Frames
12) Porcupine Tree, Fear of a Blank Planet
11) Clutch, From Beale Street to Oblivion

And at last, we come to the Top 10:

Oh, lovely. It looks like my former profession in my former state of residence is in big trouble:

As has happened in other states, cash-strapped schools in Washington state are dropping librarians to save money: This year, Federal Way cut 20 librarian positions. Spokane reduced 10 librarians to half-time. Darrington cut two librarians. A school in Marysville eliminated its half-time librarian.

Libraries are open fewer hours, programs minimized, jobs combined. In many cases, part-timers with little formal library training are replacing skilled veterans. In rural Pomeroy, a school now employs a combination custodian-librarian — she opens the library after cleaning the locker rooms.

I managed to secure full-time employment as a school librarian for three years in Seattle, but I was also the network administrator for the school in which I worked. And sure enough, when I left the position, the school changed it to part-time.

In a related note, this is as good a time as any to reveal that I’m no longer a public librarian either. Two weeks ago, I resigned from the position I started in August. I already have a new job lined up, as a systems admin for an IT firm. I plan on volunteering at the local public library after I get settled into the new job, but after ten years in the profession, I’ve discovered that I like libraries a hell of a lot more when I’m not in one 40 hours per week. (Plus, the IT job pays better, and with a 100+ year old house in desperate need of repairs, I need the extra money.)

The question is: can I still consider myself a librarian, even if I’m no longer a library employee?

You thought last year’s hop fire was the worst possible disaster that could befall the beer lovers of the world, didn’t you?

Wrong, craphound! It’s about to get so, so much worse:

A hop shortage that has worried brewers for the past few months has now been joined by a barley shortage. That spells tight supplies for two of the three major ingredients in beer (the other is water).

“What it means is you’re going to see higher prices across the board, maybe a buck a six-pack,” said Marc Rubenstein, owner of Syracuse’s Middle Ages Brewing Co. He expects the price hikes to hit around February, mostly affecting smaller, craft beers.

But wait! It gets even worse still:

Beer lovers may also soon be cursing America’s nascent love affair with a much less tasty commodity, ethanol. As the US government presses hard for huge increases in production of ethanol for use as an alternative car fuel, farmers are taking heed. Feed-stocks that can be converted into the fuel, notably corn, are being rushed on to land that was once dedicated to other crops, hops included.

One result is a 25-30 per cent spike in the cost of feed for livestock. Soy bean harvests are down too and American cattle farmers are increasingly turning to barley to help feed their animals. But brewers also need malted barley for their recipes.

Yes, you read that right. The ingredients for our precious, precious beer are being used to feed farm animals so that the farmers can waste more time, land and effort supporting an environment-killing, energy-wasting boondoggle.

Grrrr.

But hey, at least all of us are in this together. All beer drinkers will feel each other’s pain. Right?

Wrong again!

Large commercial beer makers, such as Anheuser-Busch and Coor’s, are not as vulnerable to the hops shortage, because they are first in line with producers because of their buying power, experts say.

So, not only will beer be getting much more expensive, but the price increases will disproportionately affect those of us who like, you know, good beer. The benighted masses who favor fizzy yellow water with no flavor won’t notice a price increase at all.

Dear sweet mother of all that is holy and pure, this is a catastrophe. The situation is so dire, I might even have to start drinking (shudder) wine.

Ok, not really.

Lord knows, we have nothing but respect for the profound wisdom of Fox News patriot and intrepid culture warrior Bill O’Reilly. However, when he recently declared the War on Christmas™ over and himself the victor, he may have, sadly, been a tiny bit premature.

We have recently acquired irrefutable photographic evidence of the latest tactic by which the Mexislamicommunohomofascists and their Liberal allies will attempt to destroy Christmas and America. It is our sad duty to inform you that, within mere hours, God’s Favorite Country™ will be under attack by legions of

ANGRY MONKEYS IN SANTA SUITS!

Above: the enemies of America, Jesus, and Freedom. In fact, many of their native countries are MUSLIM. Coincidence? We think not!

Good Lord, have my prayers finally been answered? For months now, I’ve been openly pining for the type of batshit crazy Presidential ticket that would restore my faith in our rapidly disintegrating democracy. But no sooner do I give my highly coveted endorsement to Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul as the standard bearers, when a new pair of power brokers emerge to wrestle for leadership of the fledgling Silly Party.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you John McCain and Joe Lieberman!

To the surprise of no one (Harry Reid excepted) the Connecticut Crapweasle will be endorsing a Republican for President. Showing that he hasn’t a lost his flair for lost causes and politically tone deaf moves, he has chosen to bestow his favors upon John McCain who has already suffered so much in this life.

Does this mean anything? Only if it’s an admission that he sees the writing on the wall of a potential Republican wipe-out in 2008 where Democrats will no longer feel the need to tolerate his presence. Who knows, maybe this is his all-in bet, with an agreement to become McCain’s running mate in the unlikely case that McCain wins the nomination since I can’t imagine any of the other egomaniac nominees agreeing to play second fiddle… with the exception of Mike Huckabee.

Either way, hopefully this will be the last straw for the Democratic party and they’ll boot the malignant little polyp from all committee seats. It’s not like anyone is going to miss him.

While this may, at first, seem like an unusual combination for a political ticket, let us not forget the strong tie that binds these two steadfast American patriots together:

A friend of mine who lives in Southern California has recently begun to talk about moving to Maine. She’s been here many times before on vacation, and asked yours truly, the recently repatriated native, to give her the 411 on the Pine Tree State. I felt it was only fair to show her what this place looks like after the tourists leave.

Above: “Hey, you rotten whippersnappers! Git offa my snowbank-covered lawn!”

Ah, there’s nothing like the Maine in December: the snow is deep, the natives, ornery. Back in 1947, Christian missionaries first ventured into Maine in an attempt to win us all over to The Lord. Unfortunately, they made the mistake of starting their mission in the middle of January. We sure were awful hungry that winter. (But, on the bright side, you can substitute missionary for ham in your baked bean suppah, and no one will be able to tell the difference.)

And to think, winter doesn’t even officially start for another two days.

This list started as a comment over at Kables’ “Top Singles of 2007” post. Inspired by Kables, I threw together a list of my own favorite songs from this year. Then I added some more. And some more. And still more.

I tried to find “official” videos (or at least live clips) for all the songs, but in some cases, they simply didn’t exist, so I linked to interesting fan-made videos.

I’m still working on my Top Albums of 2007 list, but it’s a pretty safe bet that most of the albums from which these songs spring will feature prominently in said list.

In no particular order:

Queens of the Stone Age – “3’s & 7’s,” “Suture Up My Future”
Gogol Bordello – “Wanderlust King,” “Supertheory of Supereverything”
Dälek – “Paragraphs Relentless”
Grinderman – “No Pussy Blues,” “Electric Alice”
The Aliens – “Robot Man”
Clutch – “Electric Worry”
Wilco – “Shake It Off,” “You Are My Face”
Radiohead – “Bodysnatchers”
The White Stripes – “Icky Thump,” “Prickly Thorn, Sweetly Worn”
Robert Plant & Allison Krauss – “Polly Come Home,” “Sister Rosetta Goes Before Us”
Band of Horses – “Ode To LRC”
Kings of Leon – “Black Thumbnail,” “My Party”
Dropkick Murphys – “State of Massachusetts”
High On Fire – “Rumors of War”
Dinosaur Jr. – “Been There All the Time,” “Back to Your Heart”
Machine Head – “Now I Lay Thee Down,” “Aesthetics of Hate”
Porcupine Tree – “Fear of a Blank Planet”
Oceansize – “Unfamiliar”
The Fratellis - “Chelsea Dagger”
Modest Mouse – “Dashboard”
Sage Francis – “Got Up This Morning”

Honorable Mention: Mastodon – “Sleeping Giant”
The album from which this single issues (The magnificent Blood Mountain) was actually released last year, but this song wasn’t released as a single until this year.

Somewhere on an iceberg in the icy South Atlantic, a lone snarky penguin hangs his beak in lamentation at the death of parody:

With all the things going on—the collapse of the U.S. mortgage industry, skyrocketing foreclosures, record oil prices, continued decline in the income of the average American, and so forth—I thought about writing a parody where Bubble Boy Bush was the captain of this Titanic. “Don’t worry,” he shouts to the passengers as the ship lists to one side upon hitting not one iceberg, but a whole friggin’ boatload of the damned things. “This ship is unsinkable!”, he shouts. “Those weren’t icebergs, those were just… farts! Yes, big farts by the engine room crew that they light off for fun! Go back to your cabins, there’s no problems here!”

Just as I was about to put flippers to keyboard to pound it in… President Bush in reality goes on television and makes the above speech.

Crap. How can you parody something that’s already a parody?

I proclaimed The Death of Snark more than two years ago, so it only stands to reason that Parody is dead as well. Both owe their deaths to the presidential administration of George W. Bush. Just as it’s impossible to humorously mock someone who is already a mockery of all human hope, likewise it’s impossible to parody him and his party and their professional enablers. Why? Because you cannot make up anything for parody purposes than sounds crazier than the things conservatives already say, every single day, in front of the entire world and in perfect seriousness.

It’s gotten so bad that, even when someone does write brilliant parody, nobody even recognizes it.

Hey, kids, remember New Orleans? Hit by a storm a couple of years ago? Flooded? Riots, fires, mass drownings, all while Our Preznit strummed a guitar and told the agency directly responsible for making the disaster immeasurably worse that they were doin’ a heckuva job? That New Orleans? Ringing a bell, folks?

Remember how we wondered when/how/if the city could ever be fixed so that the hundreds of thousands of displaced residents could return home?

Wellsir, turns out that the city federal government had a fantastic plan for helping its displaced residents: just knock down their houses so they can’t come back!

The fight against these demolitions isn’t really about pushing people back into “housing gulags” as some have charged. But it is about pushing back against a government agency that is clearly acting in bad faith. Otherwise E’s series of “Why not”s in the above quote would not be met with such silence. Public housing obviously needs to be improved. What we are being sold here, however, is not an improvement so much as it is an abandonment. Whatever replaces these buildings is not going to come close to serving the needs of as many people as the public housing system has served in the past… however inadequately.

And serving fewer people is clearly the purpose of this policy just as it is with nearly every aspect of planning the “New” NOLA. All over town institutions are “re-inventing” themselves with an eye toward smaller and less centralized services that cannot and will not meet the needs of a living, growing city. This is the case with health care, with public education, public transit…etc.

Go ahead and read the whole thing. It’s written by someone who (unlike 99.9% of the commentators who spout the brainless “smaller, leaner, Free Market” blather in favor of killing off an entire American city) actually lives in New Orleans.

As a librarian, it is of crucial importance that one masters the language, the culture, nay, the zeitgeist of the patrons who frequent one’s library. When the kids come in, with the hopscotch and the jungle music and the maree-wanna, you gotta be able to rap with them. You gotta be hep.

That’s why I, for one, am elated that Merriam-Webster dictionary has finally announced their Top 10 Words of 2007. Memorize these words and use them often in daily conversation, and the kids will automatically respect you. They will instinctively understand that you’re on their wavelength, hip to their jive. No one will ever ask you if you are a narc.

Without further ado:

10. charlatan
9. hypocrite
8. Pecksniffian
7. apathetic
6. sardoodledom
5. blamestorm
4. quixotic
3. conundrum
2. facebook

And the 2007 Word of the Year…

1. w00t!

So, any suggestions for the committee? Any favorite words that they missed?