Loading ...
Friday Monkey Blogging (”Beautiful Mind” Edition)
How much more proof do you need, people? We’ve given you ample evidence that The Monkey God and his simian followers are plotting their takeover, and that mankind’s time as the dominant species on this planet is growing perilously short. Most recently, we’ve shown you how they’re growing more violent by the day, and we’ve exposed their successful attempts to create a monkey clone army that will one day herd humans like so much cattle.
Unfortunately, that’s not the worst of it, folks. Not only are the monkeys growing more angry and numerous than humans, they’re also getting smarter than us!
Think you’re smarter than a fifth-grader? How about a 5-year-old chimp? Japanese researchers pitted young chimps against human adults in tests of short-term memory, and overall, the chimps won.That challenges the belief of many people, including many scientists, that “humans are superior to chimpanzees in all cognitive functions,” said researcher Tetsuro Matsuzawa of Kyoto University.
(snip)
When the numbers were displayed for about seven-tenths of a second, Ayumu and the college students were both able to do this correctly about 80 percent of the time.
But when the numbers were displayed for just four-tenths or two-tenths of a second, the chimp was the champ. The briefer of those times is too short to allow a look around the screen, and in those tests Ayumu still scored about 80 percent, while humans plunged to 40 percent.
That indicates Ayumu was better at taking in the whole pattern of numbers at a glance, the researchers wrote.
Well, folks, the verdict is in: human beings are toast. Best start digging a bomb shelter in your back yard and stockpiling it with canned food and shotgun shells right now. It certainly won’t enable you to survive The Time Of The Monkey, but you’ll be able to hold out for a few extra months, while they busy themselves enslaving and/or eating the rest of humanity.
