SemiConscious Dot Org

Cleese: (talking very fast, as do all the commentators): Hello, good evening and welcome to Election Night Special. There’s tremendous excitement here at the moment and we should be getting the first results through any moment now. We’re not sure where it will be from, it might be Leicester or from West Byfleet, the polling’s been quite heavy in both areas. Ah, I’m just getting… I’m just getting… a buzzing noise in my left ear. Urgh, argh! (removes insect and stamps on it). And now let’s go straight over to Leicester.

Palin: And it’s a straight fight here at Leicester and we’re expecting the result any moment now. There with the Returning Officer is Arthur Smith the Sensible candidate and next to him is Jethro Q. Walrustitty the Silly candidate with his agent and his silly wife.

Idle: (clears throat) Here is the result for Leicester. Arthur J. Smith…

Cleese: Sensible Party

Idle: ...30,612. (applause) Jethro Q. Bunn Whackett Buzzard Stubble and Boot Walrustitty…

Cleese: Silly Party

Idle: ...33,108. (applause)

Cleese: Well there we have the first result of the election and the Silly Party has held Leicester. Norman.

Palin: Well pretty much as I predicted, except that the Silly Party won. Er, I think this is largely due to the number of votes cast. Gerald.

Chapman: Well there’s a big swing here to the Silly Party, but how big a swing I’m not going to tell you.

And in completely unrelated news whose mention is in no way intended to subtly compare real world events to a Monty Python skit, Dennis Kucinich has announced that, if nominated, he would pick Ron Paul as his running mate.

Ever since Colbert ‘08 flew too close to the sun and burned out like Icarus, I’ve been looking for a campaign to endorse, nay, to believe in. Maybe, just maybe, Kucinich/Paul is that campaign. The argument is compelling:

Because while each one of them is, respectively, a wee bit flaky or crazy, I’m pretty sure they’re both sincere. Face it, folks: people who claim to have seen UFOs and who want to return America to the gold standard aren’t trying to deceive the American public by telling them what they want to hear. So when Paul and Kucinich say that they’ll end the stupid-ass Iraq war, I actually believe them, because in reality they’re saner than every damned Villager candidate who is too fearful of offending their overlords at AEI, Brookings and the Washington Post op-ed page.

And let’s be honest: we live in a world in where the “Sensible” Party has been covering the asses of the Pro-Torture Morally Stunted Douchebag Party all along. Knowing all this, can the Batshit Crazy Party really be any worse?