SemiConscious Dot Org

Yes, I know New Year’s resolutions hardly ever pan out. People follow them for a couple of days or weeks and then give up. If I manage to find one that I can actually stick to, I’ll be way ahead of the game.

So why not try eight? Here goes…

Lose some damn weight.
225 pounds is too heavy, even when you’re 6 foot 3. I don’t even want to guess how high my cholesterol is. Exercise is imperative, and it wouldn’t hurt to make changes to my entirely beer-pasta-and-red-meat-based diet.

Use my kayak.
For months, I yammered on to anyone who would listen about how much I wanted a kayak. My fiendishly clever plan worked, because I finally received one for Christmas. Now it’s time to put my money where my mouth is, and actually make use of the damn thing. My house is mere blocks from the Back Bay here in Portland, so once summer rolls around, I could actually carry the kayak down the street and plop it in the water. (The key word, here, obviously, being “could.”)

Pay off credit cards.
With only one income coming in for the past few months, we’ve been racking up the bills. It’s getting ugly. However, starting next week, we’ll both be employed, and as soon as the paychecks start rolling in, all available cash goes towards paying off the plastic. The last thing I want to do is give those blood-sucking weasels an excuse to jack my interest rate up to 32 percent.

(Re)learn a second language.
I spent seven years from junior high through college taking French, but have since managed to forget practically all of it. Given Maine’s proximity to the French-speaking part of Canada, it couldn’t hurt to be fluent, especially if we decide to flee the country should the unthinkable happen and the Republicans win in 2008.

Play my axe.
The bass and amp have been gathering dust in the attic. I have several friends whose bands need bass players. I’ve barely touched the thing for 10 years. It mocks me.

Plan a real honeymoon.
We got married last Labor Day weekend, but didn’t take a honeymoon at the time. After emptying our bank accounts moving cross-country, we decided it would make sense to wait until we could save up the money to do it right. I bought the Lonely Planet South Pacific/Micronesia guide last month, and I read it and daydream frequently. Sure, we’ll probably never have the cash to reach somewhere truly remote like Niue or Vanuatu, but a boy can dream, can’t he?

Volunteer at local library.
After 10 years in the library and nonprofit worlds, I finally broke down and took a job with a for-profit company. Making a livable wage will be a nice change, but I need to find a way to maintain that sense of Karmic fulfillment that only comes from helping people who don’t want or deserve it. So I’ll volunteer at the library a few nights per week.

Blog more about things that are annoying me.
If there’s one thing that people consistently tell me, is that I’m just too darn cheerful. Practically every post in this blog’s history has been filled with nauseating amounts of sunny optimism. Starting today, I resolve to change this. You’re welcome.