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Persian Gulf of Tonkin
As enthusiastic supporters of Dear Leader’s heroic attempt to set the Guinness record for most wars started by a single Presidential administration, we were obviously dismayed when the objectively pro-terrorist America-haters in the American intelligence community undercut Him by traitorously revealing that Iran has no nukular program. Without the imaginary imminent threat of Persian nukes raining down on ‘Murka, how could Dear Leader justify His invasion plans?
The boats got within 200 to 500 yards of the American ships before splitting into two groups. At least one of the fast boats then dropped several white boxes in the water in the pathway of the Ingraham, which successfully dodged them, considering them potential floating mines. Commanders of the US ships also received radio communications thought to be from one of the Iranian boats in which they heard an individual say in English, “I am coming at you. You will explode in a couple of minutes.”A Navy official said it was impossible to determine if the radio transmission actually came from one of the five boats.
It goes without saying, of course, that every detail of the incident as reported by the US Navy must be 100% true.The United States government would never, ever, ever make up details of a naval attack for the sole purpose of fabricating a phony excuse to start a war.
Now go back to watching American Idol, before we’re forced to start questioning your patriotism.
