Loading ...
It is Not May 1st. This is Not a Blog Post. You Have Not Read this Post Because there is No Post. Fnord. Repeat: It is Not May 1st…
(Originally posted on May 1st, 2006; bumped up and updated with new links.)
O glorious day! We were prepared to mark the illustrious passing of May 1st by wishing all and sundry a happy May Day, Beltane, and/or Walpurgisnacht. However, it has recently come to our attention that this particular day is sacred to many, many others folks besides all the Celts, Druids, Wiccans, Pagans, and Anarcho-syndicalists in the hizz-ouse.
For example, lazy people. Did you know that today is National Phone In Sick Day? If you’re reading this at work, then you obviously didn’t! Sucker!
In addition, today is also a sacred day to those who revere and exalt our very own Dear Leader. For, on a glorious May 1st three four five short years ago, Dear Leader proclaimed not one, but two holidays – Loyalty Day and Mission Accomplished Day! This twin killing billing serves an ingenious purpose: if, at some point during the course of today, you happen to hear some objectively pro-terrorist nogoodnik point out that 2,262 of the 2,399 3,212 of the 3,351 3924 of the 4063 American fatalities in Iraq have occured since Dear Leader’s war ended, merely change the subject and challenge their patriotism by asking them if they know it’s Loyalty Day!
