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Great Cthulhu Clinches Elder Party Nomination
Today, after a bruising, 666 year primary battle, Great Cthulhu declared victory over Elder Party adversary Yog Sothoth. A spokessquid was dispatched from Cthuhu’s Sunken City of R’lyeh to conduct a press conference announcing the nomination. Unfortunately, in a tragic error that will ultimately hasten the grisly deaths of the entire human race, Aussie fishermen captured and killed the spokessquid:
The six-metre long, 230-kilogram squid was still alive when it was netted by commercial fishermen last night.
Fisheries Victoria says the creature is being kept in a freezer and will be transferred to the Melbourne Museum.
The museum is yet to confirm whether it will be used for scientific research or put on display.
(link via Pharyngula)
No official statement was issued by the Cthulhu For President campaign in reaction to this event, but since all reporters covering the candidate were summarily dismembered and eaten, it’s safe to assume that His reaction was not a positive one.
You may have all thought us premature for endorsing Great Cthulhu’s campaign last month, before he had even clinched the nomination. In the aftermath of this grievous insult to The Elder Gods’ dignity, who’s laughing now? Our pledge of eternal servitude will buy us a few extra horrific, blood-soaked moments on Earth, laughing and gibbering insanely as the rest of humanity is slurped unceremoniously into Great Chulhu’s stomach.
Jealous much?
Cthulhu Fthagn! Ph’nglui mglw’nfah Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn! Ia! Ia!
