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Who will you be voting for in November?
- Either Hilary or Obama. Enough with the Republicans, already! (29%)
- Obama, assuming he's the nominee (24%)
- Cthulhu (14%)
- Voting for anyone other than McCain merely proves that you hate America. (10%)
- Bob. (10%)
- Awww, you think elections actually matter! That's so cute! (10%)
- Jethro Q. Walrustitty is my co-pilot. (5%)
- The craziest candidate left, be it Nader, Paul, Ventura, or some other loon (0%)
Total Votes: 21
How will you spend Bush's last day in office?
- Weeping with joy that we somehow survived the Worst. President. Ever. (33%)
- Weeping with sadness over the incalculable damage he's done to this country, the human race, and the planet. (30%)
- Naked, drunk, and in public. (26%)
- Why do you hate America? (7%)
- Throwing dead skunks over the fence at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave while singing "Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye" (4%)
Total Votes: 27
Will the New England Patriots go 19-0?
- Hell yes! (67%)
- The fact that you root for them proves how much you hate America. (22%)
- No perfect record, no Lombardi Trophy, and no soup for you! (11%)
- No, but they'll still win the Superbowl. (0%)
Total Votes: 9
- Yes. (50%)
- Obviously. (50%)
- Unless you're a morally stunted douchebag like our president and everyone who works for or supports him. (0%)
- Why do you hate America? (0%)
- Well, duh! (0%)
Total Votes: 2
What should the punishment be for the woman who stole a book she found "objectionable" from the library?
- Forced, at gunpoint, to watch other elderly Christians have sex. (39%)
- Immediate exile to a country where people who share her view of sex are in charge... like, say, Saudi Arabia. (39%)
- Entrails gnawed away by bookworms (17%)
- Buried under avalanche of Christian romance novels, trapped, forced to eat own head to survive. (6%)
- Why do you hate America? (0%)
Total Votes: 18
